Just some thoughts....
Violence isn't bad. RPGs are about FUN, primarily, and getting to do violence on others tends to be part of it. The problem I tend to have is HOW it's worked out ...
The hack'n'slash/D&D mentality: This is basically the mentality of teen novels. No adults, and you have to solve the problems because they're not there to do it. It can quickly get out of hand as a result (hend the hack'n'slash reputation), but the idea that It's Up To Us is a very old old, and extremely durable meme. Those who can do something are helpless and it's up to the New Generation to save the world/day/whatever.
But when you get rid of authority figures, you run into lots of problems. Mostly that of PCs doing whatever they like since there's no laws etc. stopping them. (I say bandit, you say hero....)
The "Tree hugger" mentality: These RPGs stress that violence is NOT a good thing and combat isn't something ever entered into lightly. They're largely modern games, and generally the moment someone uses guns you can kiss your PC goodbye.
But regardless of the game, the key seems to be violence being done OUTSIDE the law. The PCs are rarely FBI agents, or city guards, or law-makers. They're almost lnvariably roges, adventurers, hunters after insane evil cultists ....
So, instead of harping about it being good or bad in a game, try one with the PCs as law enforcers and see what happens. Hollywood does it. No matter how much blood and gore is involved and how maverick they are, the good guys are almost always police officers and the like....
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