Apotheosis: some news

Your character can discover this in the radio, via the newspaper, on the net, by TV: doesn't really matter how. (They might not even at all; your choice.)

Radio Free Essex:

"This is DJ Arnold, who has never been a DJ but it sounds pretty sweet, on 999 AM. Essex University is the top of the news for the hour, on the hour. Or under it, as the case may be! The top story -- who am I kidding? it's the only one! -- some psych students weren't able to get into a lecture hall so they had a mass orgy outside. Witnesses reported it, and several joined in because it "felt right" according to one witness who did not want to be named. I'd be more worried about STDS, but hey!

"The teacher for the class remains unaccounted for, but if I was Ms. Whitman, I'd be flattered: most students just leave when the teacher isn't present! One teacher, who asked not to be named (this is sort of theme of the news today) said that, while he welcomed a return of 60s style protest activism, campus-wide orgies were a bit much. Students seem divided according to my unofficial poll. A good 50% think it was drugs, like a date rape one or LSD. 25% think it was a protest, or possibly an art piece, and the rest think it is a sign from Satan about the whore of Bablyon and the end times. Well, I guess we all know who they're talking about, even if oficialdom is remaining mum!

"Now it's time for a break with Right Said Fred, and "I"m Too Sexy For My Campus!"


Wessex TV:

"The top story of the morning is the unexplained sexual activity at the university yesterday afternoon. Opinions range widely, but there has been no official report on the cause of the event, nor why a psych class would engage in that kind of experiments. The head of the psychology department, Dr. Robert Dickinson, stated that Professor Whitman had been under a lot of stress lately and that perhaps her dissertation on William Masters had begun to cloud her judgment.

"He further cited a possibly apocryphal story about her teaching practices coming under question since she was rumored to improve grades for studies who would consent to be subjects in her studies and give in-depth accounts of their sexual experiences to date. This no doubt influenced her other classes and led her to have students believe she would give them all at least a B if they engaged in group sex.

"The police are still investigating the situation and Sergeant Leatherwood only said that they had called in the FBI to check for drugs or contaminants in the local water supply. Asked about the possible sightings of Delaware police cruisers, Leatherwood only said that the county had asked for aid and refused to comment further on the matter."


The Rutherford Daily Independent Standard:

Top Story: UNIVERSITY PROTEST
While officials remain silent, rumors about that yesterday afternoon a mass orgy that took place outside a lecture hall abound. Surprisingly, few pictures of it surfaced, and those that were turned into our office were too grainy to be of use.
When questioned, students claimed "The Man" had taken it from them, but refused to explain further, leading to increased worries about drug abuse and immorality on campus. The police have to far refused to comment, but locals have been picketing the university campus and MAGS, an organization claiming to be Mothers Against Group Sex, has taken up emailing the university to demand an explanation. Until one is forthcoming, the story will likely not die.

Other News
Walter McDermott, a janitor at the university, was found murdered in a room at the Super 8 Motel approximately 3 am last night. The police are not releasing details at this time but are requesting anyone with information to come forward at this time.

Barnes & Noble wishes to apologize for their recent promotion of a new book "The True History of Magick by James Randi". Like their recent 'press releases' of "The Cruel Ones and You by Dr Seuss" and "Shattering of the Glass Family by J D Salinger" and "How I loved My Mother by Sigmund Freud" it seems to be the work of a very bored staff member. Strangely, the only titles that were recognized as actual fakes were "The History of Psychology by Tom Cruise" and "Why Hitler Was a Boddhisatva by the Dalai Lama".

A fire in the Walmart photo lab left one staff member hospitalized but no one else harmed this morning. The company and fire marshal are currently investigating.

In more pleasant news, a remake of the Flying Nun is scheduled to begin filming in one of the ghost towns south of Elysium. Since it's still pre-production there is no word on if they're hiring locals.


On the net:
LOL! Did you hear about Sara and the other students??? That's so awesome!! I wish I'd been there!! I bet someone got pictures!!!!

u r all going to burn in hell!

Obviously, there was no 'orgy'. We are university students, and well aware of safe-sex. It's clear that the university is in cahoots with the government in covering up something important. See: the 'police cars', the amount of junk mail everyone gets, the new Tiki Bar at the south end of campus, and economics departments refusal to have a stated opinion on FDR and the conspiracy to bring down his government as all the proof you need that something Big is going down and our corporate masters wish to hide it from us.

You're so full of it. Everyone knows the CFR is connected to at least 6 deans, and they're the ones who really call the shots. And if you believe that, I have an alien corpse to sell you.

Come on you guys! Lets' not fight! INTERNET ORGY EVERYONE!