Fariview: Hope's Poems

For Rei, because she dared read poems by a girl who lost her brother. (Alas, the GM was not in a really gothy mood.)

i.

there are no words
no words to say
grey emptiness within
blank smiles without

all I do is grasp edges
thought is stained with grief
I miss even hating him
we are the total of our regrets

ii.

We never talked as strangers do
My brother, he and I.
The silences are deeper now
And all his words a veil.

We never spoke as friends do,
Trading light grey lies.
All my thoughts have weight now
I whisper lest I wail.

iii. [This one is crossed out savagely, but readable]

Sometimes the strong are O! so weak with secrets they can never keep
One wrong word and panic leaps 'til only death alone can reap;
It's only love I want to speak, but his fears sweet silence keeps
Grey truth and lies slowly creep while loss hides hope and weeps

iv.


They told me you were dead and gone
And that alone I must continue on.
They told me you have gone away
To a place I may visit yet someday.
But all I saw and all I know
Is they put you in the ground.
Tell me that it isn't so,
That gravestones are fairy mounds.

I wish that I could believe
That some part of you hasn't forgot,
I wish I could deceive
Myself that death's not our lot
I wish I could feel relief
If we just lie there and rot
But I can't help but believe.

All the empty words that people say
Can't bring you back to me today,
I waited here until grey dawn
But the day has come and gone.

v.

when I think of death I think
of silence and the end
of empty halls and laid-down burdens
grey gardens we no longer tend

And when I life of life I know
that all things must break
and heart's lessons are scar's
tissue and all we forsake.

vi.

Each word I write is poor and fettered.
Pictures found worth untold worls.
The truth is a liar, the wise man says.
All I know is what is gone.
All I feel is hollow and grey.
All I wish is for an end.